Just Missing That Lady...

It's been 10 years since my Mother transitioned.  I get it and understand that the one promise made when you are given life is that it will one day end.  Still there are moments where my heart doesn't want to hear that.  It wants to be pissed off, cry, show my frustration to the world on me not having my mother here in the physical form.

I'm a spiritual person and understand that there is life beyond what the physical can fathom, but the bottom line is I crave that physical so much, see the physical understands that your Mother is the closet thing you can relate to the Higher Power, the Creator if you will.  My Mother was that to me.  She taught me how to use my mind, have faith but don't believe blindly (my Father taught me that too, but on a different level).  She taught me how to read my dreams, she taught me the importance of being trustworthy.  Don't say it if you don't mean it, even if it hurts someone, but always give until it hurts.  She gave me Stevie Wonder & Marvin Gaye.  She made me paper dolls and taught me to read.  She taught me the "that's my house" game when we would ride around in Oakland & Berkeley Hills looking at the beautiful homes, when she couldn't afford to take us to the movies.  She taught me how to smile and to love life.  I have to admit, for a long time I've forgotten how to smile and love life.  I have to get it back because it is a total disrespect to her memory and I can't do that because she was and is such a beautiful Spirit. Yeah, I have to get that back...

This Weekend...

It was all about Mr. Prince Rogers Nelson this weekend for me. Yes, he was back in the town, San Jose this time and I had to see him.  I figure I need to make up for all the times my mother wouldn't let me go and see him when I was a teenager.  He is awesome and I have to admit I've seen a lot of good concerts in my time, but his concerts have been the best that I've been to.  He performed a good portion of his hits, changed lyrics here and there due to his new outlook on life.  As much as I wanted to hear the original versions, I respect growth and enlightenment  So whatever works for him, I'm fine with it as the Brotha is TALENTED.  Yet a little Irresistible Bitch or Erotic City would have been nice to hear. ;o)~

As  you can see, I'm going to host two blogs.  Once for my research and one for personal updates.  I have to start writing again and I guess blogging will be the outlet needed to stir the pot again.

Work is work, home is home, bills are bills, but I'm happy to report I have a crush... ;o)~  42 and having a crush, something seems lopsided about that.  It's a good feeling though, he'll never find out and I'll romanticize about it in my head for as long as it is needed and get back into my reality.  You ever notice when you are crushing on someone, everywhere you turn you hear their name or something pops up that reminds you of them?  Now I could just be seeing things, but I believe in the subliminal as well as karma.  So I don't know, but I even saw his name while playing Treasure Isle so you tell me?  

Well this is it for my first and hopefully not last entry.  Be Peace!